The Dream

Ape Threat Level: Red. If the federal government can raise the terror level on a gut feeling, I think raising the ape threat level based on a dream is a good idea. See the following...

As of late, it has been seeming that the ape threat has been somewhat quiet. I've blogged very little since I have not had much to comment on ape attacks. Then, Tuesday night happened.

As I was sleeping Tuesday, I had a dream. No. A nightmare. Let me describe.

In my dream, I was on an island. This is no surprise considering that a vast amount of my free time is wrapped up in watching, reading about and analyzing the television show Lost. Anyway, on the island, I was with a large group of people. I want to say I knew many of the people, but I don't quite exactly remember who.

For some reason, the group I was with decided that we needed to walk across the island and get to the beach. I was all on board for this trip because it sounded like a great idea. Little did I really know...

We had walked about halfway to the beach when we came upon a frightening scene. In a clearing, there was a large population of speaking apes. For some reason, the group of people thought it was a great idea to walk out to the group of apes to see what was up.

The leader ape yelled at my group of people saying, "What are you people doing here! You are not allowed to go this way."

A person from my group said back, "We're trying to get to the beach. We just want to keep moving."

The ape was not digging on this idea. He said, "Go back or else."

Well, my group of people tried the "or else."

The apes started attacking my people. Being that I was quite frightened, I rally several people to run. I ran with about a half dozen people to an abandoned barn about a half mile away. Unfortunately for us, the apes had a charter bus. Yes. That's right. A charter bus.

They followed us to the barn and were staking us out. So the handful of people and I decided to climb into the rafters of the barn because for some ridiculous reason we thought that apes wouldn't be able to get to us up there.

As we were waiting, an ape jumped me from behind and.....

That's when I woke up in an absolute terror and scared out of my mind.

Now, many may accuse me of making this up, but I swear I had this dream. Thus my friends, remember that we must stay vigilante and remember this threat is serious. I don't want a situation similar to this happening to us anytime soon...